Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Announce They're Just Ordinary Couple Into Depraved $exual Acts

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Lindsey Vonn, Tiger Woods Announce Relationship on Facebook Video.

Ending months of speculation and rumors, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn announced on their personal Facebook pages Monday that they are an ordinary couple into incredibly perverse, bizarre, and degrading sexual acts.

“We’re reserved, consenting adults just like your loved ones, enjoying quiet evenings on the couch, fisting drunk skanks we picked up at a bar,” said Woods, adding that their relationship had evolved quite normally from being close friends to sharing every bodily fluid. “Lindsey and I do a lot of typical stuff like watching sunsets, cooking dinner together, or she’ll strap on a dildo and ream my ass like crazy.”

“Anyway, we appreciate that you respect our privacy,” continued Woods.

Woods expressed hope that the announcement would limit public scrutiny and prevent intrusion into their mundane personal affairs, such as soliciting prostitutes for gangbangs.

“At the end of the day, Lindsey and I just want to be left alone with four or five hookers, my buddy Kurt, a couple frat boys, and our favorite cameraman,” said the 14-time major winner. “We don’t want the press always interfering in our sordid sex lives.”

“I hate getting hounded by paparazzi every time my girlfriend and I are out and about trying to innocently invite a few lactating pregnant women to our weekly orgy,” added Woods.
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    Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Announce They're Just Ordinary Couple Into Depraved $exual Acts

    Lindsey Vonn, Tiger Woods Announce Relationship on Facebook Video.

    Ending months of speculation and rumors, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn announced on their personal Facebook pages Monday that they are an ordinary couple into incredibly perverse, bizarre, and degrading sexual acts.

    “We’re reserved, consenting adults just like your loved ones, enjoying quiet evenings on the couch, fisting drunk skanks we picked up at a bar,” said Woods, adding that their relationship had evolved quite normally from being close friends to sharing every bodily fluid. “Lindsey and I do a lot of typical stuff like watching sunsets, cooking dinner together, or she’ll strap on a dildo and ream my ass like crazy.”

    “Anyway, we appreciate that you respect our privacy,” continued Woods.

    Woods expressed hope that the announcement would limit public scrutiny and prevent intrusion into their mundane personal affairs, such as soliciting prostitutes for gangbangs.

    “At the end of the day, Lindsey and I just want to be left alone with four or five hookers, my buddy Kurt, a couple frat boys, and our favorite cameraman,” said the 14-time major winner. “We don’t want the press always interfering in our sordid sex lives.”

    “I hate getting hounded by paparazzi every time my girlfriend and I are out and about trying to innocently invite a few lactating pregnant women to our weekly orgy,” added Woods.

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  • Watch Lindsey Vonn gushes about her relationship with Tiger Woods Video
    Lindsey Vonn gushes about her relationship with Tiger Woods

    In the latest issue of Vogue, Lindsey Vonn opened up about her relationship with professional golfer Tiger Woods.
    “We immediately clicked, you know? It was just one of those things,' Vonn told the magazine. 'We talked a lot, corresponded a lot, and he was a good friend who was always there. And then it became more.”
    The Olympic skier, who ended her four-year marriage to Thomas Vonn in 2011, said now she's found a good relationship.
    “It’s amazing. Life changes very quickly, in a very positive way, if you let it,' she said. “I am a little bit of a late bloomer. I’m delayed. Having a delayed reaction here! But I figured it out.”
    The blonde beauty also defended her beau against some of the harsh news stories that came out about Woods following his very public divorce from Elin Nordegren in 2010.
    “Tiger’s fame is obviously in the extreme, the amount of scrutiny that he’s constantly under,” she said. “But that’s the thing: It all comes back to being happy. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks; do what you love to do and be happy and that’s it.'

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    Lindsay Vonn and Tiger Woods' every move has been chronicled by the tabloids since they announced their relationship on Facebook in March 2013, but despite their seemingly fast-paced romance, Vonn recently told Vogue magazine that she's ruled out marriage for good.

    'I am definitely not getting married. To anyone,' Vonn told the magazine.

    Part of that reluctance stems from her four-year marriage to former coach Thomas Vonn, whom she divorced in November 2011 and said she no longer speaks to. Vonn told the magazine that she has no plans to mix business and pleasure again:

    “Doesn’t work. I think there needs to be a certain kind of understanding because it’s very hard for me to relate to someone who doesn’t do sports at a high level. That part is necessary. But to have business in the relationship is very difficult,' she said. 'It definitely did not work for me, and I would not recommend it. I would also not recommend getting married!”

    But she insists she doesn't regret the marriage.

    Honestly, I wouldn’t take anything back,” Vonn told Vogue. “I wouldn’t change being married. It was good for me and I was happy for a period of time, and I learned a lot about myself.”

    Vonn's relationship with her ex famously caused a rift with her father, who disapproved of the relationship. The former spouses tied the knot in 2007.

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    'I am definitely not getting married... to anyone,' insists Tiger Woods' girlfriend Lindsey Vonn as she poses for Vogue

    She divorced her first husband Thomas Vonn in 2011 after four years of marriage, while he endured a very public break-up with wife Elin Nodergren after cheating on her with over a dozen women.
    Following the collapse of both of their relationships, sporting couple Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn announced that they were dating in a very bizarre Facebook post in March this year.
    Still going strong in July, the pair appear to be a match made in heaven.

    But as their relationships becomes even more serious, Olympic downhill skier Vonn has revealed that she will NEVER marry again.
    The pretty 28-year-old blonde makes the revelation in a new interview with US Vogue in which she also poses for a glamorous photo shoot.
    The super toned and currently very slim (she hasn't been able to build up her muscles since a bad skiing accident in February this year) is snapped in a stunning black and white ball gown and black stilettos heels as she strikes a classic skiing pose.
    In the image, Lindsey is stunning, her long blonde hair cascading around her shoulders and a smouldering application of smokey eye make-up to her visage.

    Lindsey, who met current boyfriend Tiger at a charity event in 2012, says in her interview that she doesn't regret her marriage to first husband and former coach Thomas Vonn, but hints that their break-up put her off the idea of walking down the aisle again.
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    - Editor: Bhasker Pandey
    - Cinematography Team:
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    Harjas Singh Marwah
    Surinder Singh
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    Watch the full film 'SAMARPAN' online on
    - Rolling Frames Entertainment - (https://rfetv.in)
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    - ASHI, Haryana's website - https://ashi-haryana.org/

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    All Rights Reserved - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP - 2019
    Produced by: Association of Social Health in India (Haryana State Branch), Pinaka Mediaworks & Rolling Frames Entertainment.
    Director: Ojaswwee Sharma

    Production House - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP
    - Associate Director: Rohit Kumar
    - Editor: Bhasker Pandey
    - Cinematography Team:
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    Harjas Singh Marwah
    Surinder Singh
    - Subtitles: Diveeja Sharma

    For Pinaka Mediaworks LLP (India)

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    - Head of Post Production: Bhasker Pandey
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    SAMARPAN is an ode to the dedicated team of ASHI, Haryana and Ashiana Children's Home, as they mark their Golden Jubilee this year in 2019. Available in Hindi and English Subtitles.
    Watch the full film 'SAMARPAN' online on
    - Rolling Frames Entertainment - (https://rfetv.in)
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    Association for Social Health in India (ASHI) is a Voluntary and Social Organization aiming at challenging those conditions that lead to exploitation of women and children for anti-social purposes by providing shelter for Destitute & Orphan children and arranging for their education, vocational training and rehabilitation are one of the Association’s main activities. The Governor of Haryana, their Chief Patron, visits the Home once a year to encourage and bless the children.

    All Rights Reserved - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP - 2019
    Produced by: Association of Social Health in India (Haryana State Branch), Pinaka Mediaworks & Rolling Frames Entertainment.
    Director: Ojaswwee Sharma

    Production House - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP
    - Associate Director: Rohit Kumar
    - Editor: Bhasker Pandey
    - Cinematography Team:
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    Harjas Singh Marwah
    Surinder Singh
    - Subtitles: Diveeja Sharma

    For Pinaka Mediaworks LLP (India)

    - Co-founder & CFO: Sunil Sharma
    - Brand Communication Head: Diveeja Sharma
    - Head of Post Production: Bhasker Pandey
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  • Watch Samarpan - Promo 03 ft. Dr Vibha Taluja | 29th December 19 | RFE TV | ASHI Haryana | Ojaswwee Video
    Samarpan - Promo 03 ft. Dr Vibha Taluja | 29th December 19 | RFE TV | ASHI Haryana | Ojaswwee

    SAMARPAN is an ode to the dedicated team of ASHI, Haryana and Ashiana Children's Home, as they mark their Golden Jubilee this year in 2019. Available in Hindi and English Subtitles.
    Watch the full film 'SAMARPAN' online on
    - Rolling Frames Entertainment - (https://rfetv.in)
    - VEBLR - (https://veblr.com/)
    - ASHI, Haryana's website - https://ashi-haryana.org/

    About ASHI, Haryana:
    Association for Social Health in India (ASHI) is a Voluntary and Social Organization aiming at challenging those conditions that lead to exploitation of women and children for anti-social purposes by providing shelter for Destitute & Orphan children and arranging for their education, vocational training and rehabilitation are one of the Association’s main activities. The Governor of Haryana, their Chief Patron, visits the Home once a year to encourage and bless the children.

    All Rights Reserved - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP - 2019
    Produced by: Association of Social Health in India (Haryana State Branch), Pinaka Mediaworks & Rolling Frames Entertainment.
    Director: Ojaswwee Sharma

    Production House - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP
    - Associate Director: Rohit Kumar
    - Editor: Bhasker Pandey
    - Cinematography Team:
    Raman Kumar
    Harjas Singh Marwah
    Surinder Singh
    - Subtitles: Diveeja Sharma

    For Pinaka Mediaworks LLP (India)

    - Co-founder & CFO: Sunil Sharma
    - Brand Communication Head: Diveeja Sharma
    - Head of Post Production: Bhasker Pandey
    - Legal Advisor: Vishal Taneja

    Kids video | 85679 views

  • Watch Samarpan - Promo 04 ft. Maj Gen IJS Dhillon | 29th December 19 | RFE TV | ASHI Haryana | Ojaswwee Video
    Samarpan - Promo 04 ft. Maj Gen IJS Dhillon | 29th December 19 | RFE TV | ASHI Haryana | Ojaswwee

    SAMARPAN is an ode to the dedicated team of ASHI, Haryana and Ashiana Children's Home, as they mark their Golden Jubilee this year in 2019. Available in Hindi and English Subtitles.
    Watch the full film 'SAMARPAN' online on
    - Rolling Frames Entertainment - (https://rfetv.in)
    - VEBLR - (https://veblr.com/)
    - ASHI, Haryana's website - https://ashi-haryana.org/

    About ASHI, Haryana:
    Association for Social Health in India (ASHI) is a Voluntary and Social Organization aiming at challenging those conditions that lead to exploitation of women and children for anti-social purposes by providing shelter for Destitute & Orphan children and arranging for their education, vocational training and rehabilitation are one of the Association’s main activities. The Governor of Haryana, their Chief Patron, visits the Home once a year to encourage and bless the children.

    All Rights Reserved - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP - 2019
    Produced by: Association of Social Health in India (Haryana State Branch), Pinaka Mediaworks & Rolling Frames Entertainment.
    Director: Ojaswwee Sharma

    Production House - Pinaka Mediaworks LLP
    - Associate Director: Rohit Kumar
    - Editor: Bhasker Pandey
    - Cinematography Team:
    Raman Kumar
    Harjas Singh Marwah
    Surinder Singh
    - Subtitles: Diveeja Sharma

    For Pinaka Mediaworks LLP (India)

    - Co-founder & CFO: Sunil Sharma
    - Brand Communication Head: Diveeja Sharma
    - Head of Post Production: Bhasker Pandey
    - Legal Advisor: Vishal Taneja

    Kids video | 57176 views